Abigail Joy Turns 1! - A Home Video
There is so much to say about Abigail Joy's 1st Birthday, I don't know where to start, so I will just start...
I took a few quick clips while running around her birthday party and wanted to put it together into something happy and memorable. It probably won't win any awards, but I wanted to focus on being present in the moment more than documenting it (something I know I fall victim to as a photographer).
The music I chose, however, was very intentional. The theme of her birthday was "You are My Sunshine", which is a song that her mother purposefully sang over her countless times in this last year. Though it is often regarded as a happy song, there is also quite a bit of sadness hidden in the later verses:
"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I bowed my head and I cried."
We almost lost her when she was born. She was cord-wrapped and not breathing. It was the longest 2 minutes of our entire life. Each second was an eternity unto itself. I can remember and count nearly ever second, and at the same time it was all a blur.
Last night, Hailey and I laid in bed watching the first draft of this video and talked about how this second verse could have been our life. Instead, we just celebrated one year of life and "Joy!" It has been, without a doubt, one of the most difficult years of my life - but what a blessing it has been!
The second song is "White Flag" by Joseph. I first heard this song last week at the Sseko Summit in Portland, where my wife and I got to re-honeymoon as she attended a conference for the wonderful company she now works for that champions the life and inherent value of women across the globe (and whose amazing sandals we had in our wedding 8 years ago! #fullcircle). I feel like it speaks to Abby, who would not surrender or give in to death, but pushed on through polyhydramnios, breathlessness, fever, being cums positive, jaundice, glucose regulation issues, a week of NICU, and six months of severe reflux.
"Noises closing in from all sides
Warning all the ways to die
They say 'you'd better give up
You'd better give up'
I say 'I'll never give up, I'll never give up!'"
"Whisper, move the air
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Sometimes it's all I've got to spare"
"I'll be an army, no you're
Not gonna stop me gettin' through, ooh
I'll sing a marching song and
Stomp through the halls louder than you, ooh"
"Burn the white flag!"
That is my Abigail Joy! She is a warrior, a fighter, a "no-limit soldier" (as she once described), and this world is not going to keep her down. We waited for what seemed like an eternity to hear her first breath and her first sound...and she hasn't been silent since! In fact, at this exactly moment, right on cue, she just started calling out to me telling me she is awake and I should come kiss her face, so I will make the rest of this short...
My baby burned the white flag on the way into this world, and I hope that never changes. She will face good days and bad, but she will see it through to the other side and have stories of hope and triumph to share with others when she gets there. But today is one of the good days - and we are going to rejoice and be glad in it! We are going to celebrate a year in the LIFE of Abigail Joy!